Evelyn is one of my best friends. She makes a mean potato salad, always remembers that I love butter cookies at Christmas, has a candy dish perpetually filled with chocolates, and lets me hide at her house when things here get to be too much.
In return, I happily fetch her mail with mine, tuck her newspaper in the front door each morning, weed the flower beds, mow her lawn, and my son takes out her trash.
Why? She's 92 years old. Her mind is sharp, but her body is frail. She has taken several falls in the past year, one semi-serious. She can't lift her left arm higher than her shoulder, and she recently had a bout with bladder cancer.
We were talking yesterday and she told me that her daughter's friends think it's time for her to be "forced" into assisted living or moving in with one of her daughters. I must admit, I'd feel safer if she'd allow us to rearrange her furniture so that her bedroom was on the first floor, but she refuses any and all offers that hint at her failing independence.
I don't know who is right, but I know that I'm not arguing with a woman who has been around since houses had no running water or electricity, fed her children from the vegetable garden in her yard, makes her own clothes, and got a cardinal tattooed on her ankle for her 90th birthday.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Stress Anyone?
I want to start my blog again, I'm feeling inspired, I make time, I sit down, I decide my first post will be about stress. I have plenty of it these days, surely it would be a great place to start my therapeutic blogging. And guess what? I've got nothing. I sat staring at the screen for 10 minutes. I kept checking Facebook to see if anyone else has a life more interesting than this blank screen.
Then it hits me:
I'm newly separated, handling the daily parenting of two snarky children, working, studying, cooking, cleaning, and mowing the lawn by myself for the first time in 10 years and I'll be honest -- I'm terrified.
It is an amicable separation, there were no broken dishes, no Waiting to Exhale car fire scene. We just decided to step away from a sad and lonely marriage and focus on being parents. We hope to be friends some day.
Quite honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm a bit bipolar and the Mom in me is at odds with the Woman in me. To keep the upheaval at a minimum, he moved out, letting the kids and I stay in the home we've had for 9 years. He took the vast majority of our debt with him, so that I could afford to stay here. When my car needed repairs I was unable to afford, he drove right over and handed me his credit card. For these reasons, I know that we are going to be fine. Friends, Parents, Adults. And the Mom in me is grateful.
The Woman in me is not so happy. I am thirty-mumble years old. Not old, not young. I have two children, 16 & 8. Not babies, but not leaving the nest anytime soon. I am overweight. Not obese, but not skinny. I feel torn like this all day long.
Richard Carlson said, "Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness."
This is never more true than when I look in the mirror. That chick is unbalanced.
Then it hits me:
I'm newly separated, handling the daily parenting of two snarky children, working, studying, cooking, cleaning, and mowing the lawn by myself for the first time in 10 years and I'll be honest -- I'm terrified.
It is an amicable separation, there were no broken dishes, no Waiting to Exhale car fire scene. We just decided to step away from a sad and lonely marriage and focus on being parents. We hope to be friends some day.
Quite honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm a bit bipolar and the Mom in me is at odds with the Woman in me. To keep the upheaval at a minimum, he moved out, letting the kids and I stay in the home we've had for 9 years. He took the vast majority of our debt with him, so that I could afford to stay here. When my car needed repairs I was unable to afford, he drove right over and handed me his credit card. For these reasons, I know that we are going to be fine. Friends, Parents, Adults. And the Mom in me is grateful.
The Woman in me is not so happy. I am thirty-mumble years old. Not old, not young. I have two children, 16 & 8. Not babies, but not leaving the nest anytime soon. I am overweight. Not obese, but not skinny. I feel torn like this all day long.
Richard Carlson said, "Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness."
This is never more true than when I look in the mirror. That chick is unbalanced.
Writer's Block
I'd like to claim it was Writer's Block that stalled my blog two years ago, but I think perhaps it was a bit of this and some of that. I start many things with the best of intentions and then sadly watch them drift away.
My children are 16 & 8 now, I'm still overweight, and I'm recently separated from my husband of nearly 9 years.
I think getting back to writing will be therapeutic. Nothing specific, and probably not every day, just whatever and whenever I am feeling inspired.
Speaking of inspired (nice transition, Kel!) I have been reading the blogs of two of my favorite women and have them to thank for this.
For now though, I must get ready for work, for I am no longer a Stay at Home. I hope to see you all soon. And often.
My children are 16 & 8 now, I'm still overweight, and I'm recently separated from my husband of nearly 9 years.
I think getting back to writing will be therapeutic. Nothing specific, and probably not every day, just whatever and whenever I am feeling inspired.
Speaking of inspired (nice transition, Kel!) I have been reading the blogs of two of my favorite women and have them to thank for this.
For now though, I must get ready for work, for I am no longer a Stay at Home. I hope to see you all soon. And often.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Bye Bye Baby Weight!
Today's Topic --
Finding Time to Exercise When You're a Mom.
Many of us Moms are carrying around a little baby weight. 5, 10, 50 (that's me), or 100 pounds that didn't belong to us until we gave up our bodies in exchange for Parenthood.
I, personally, find this to be a raw deal. For nine months, minimum, we give up booze, sushi, Motrin, and a myriad of things that are supposed to be harmful to our growing fetus. We live with swollen ankles. We accept the stretch marks that bloom on our growing tummies. We skip our appointments with our colorist. We make peace with Gravity.
Nine months later, we have those glorious little babies in our arms and nothing else matters.
Shortly after that magical moment (a week, a month, a year), reality sets in. We are no longer eating for two. It's time to stop claiming that the baby made us eat that entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Cinnamon Buns Ice Cream.
But how to fit exercise into our day? All those parenting magazines make it sound so easy. Just pop Baby into your jogging stroller and meet up with the other Moms on your block for a daily walk!
Yeah, unless Baby doesn't like the stroller and screams the entire time. Those Moms will boot you out of their group faster than projectile vomit!
You can always try one of those Mommy and Me Yoga Tapes. I, personally, have never done it, mostly because I have visions of the aforementioned projectile vomit while trying to achieve the Downward Lotus Sun (or some such named) pose.
How about doing a Mommy only tape while baby is napping? Sure, right after three loads of (here we go again) vomit stained burp cloths. Fine, forget the laundry, make yourself the priority today. Get to Exercising. Just don't break a sweat, there won't be time to shower before baby wakes up, and you don't want to spend the rest of the day reeking of dried body odor. Although, maybe mixed with the smell of diaper and sour milk spit up, no one will notice....
Is this why my kids are 14 and 5 and I'm still calling it Baby Weight?
Working out with older kids presents it's own problems, though. First, having your 5 year old sit on the couch and stare at you while you struggle through Tae Bo is miserable.
Then, making sure you're dressed appropriately in case your 14 year old son and his buddies come in from playing catch to grab a snack/drink is no picnic. No Flashing Your Wobbly Bits at the Neighbor Kids!
And lastly, finishing in time to grab a shower so you can make sure dinner is on the table by the time hubby gets home from work is a fine art in and of itself.
Oh,don't worry, I'm not even going to discuss getting up "a little early" to fit in your workout before the family wakes up. This is nothing but lunacy.
I'm going to keep trying to sneak in a little here and there and hopefully you'll be able to do the same! Good luck!
Finding Time to Exercise When You're a Mom.
Many of us Moms are carrying around a little baby weight. 5, 10, 50 (that's me), or 100 pounds that didn't belong to us until we gave up our bodies in exchange for Parenthood.
I, personally, find this to be a raw deal. For nine months, minimum, we give up booze, sushi, Motrin, and a myriad of things that are supposed to be harmful to our growing fetus. We live with swollen ankles. We accept the stretch marks that bloom on our growing tummies. We skip our appointments with our colorist. We make peace with Gravity.
Nine months later, we have those glorious little babies in our arms and nothing else matters.
Shortly after that magical moment (a week, a month, a year), reality sets in. We are no longer eating for two. It's time to stop claiming that the baby made us eat that entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Cinnamon Buns Ice Cream.
But how to fit exercise into our day? All those parenting magazines make it sound so easy. Just pop Baby into your jogging stroller and meet up with the other Moms on your block for a daily walk!
Yeah, unless Baby doesn't like the stroller and screams the entire time. Those Moms will boot you out of their group faster than projectile vomit!
You can always try one of those Mommy and Me Yoga Tapes. I, personally, have never done it, mostly because I have visions of the aforementioned projectile vomit while trying to achieve the Downward Lotus Sun (or some such named) pose.
How about doing a Mommy only tape while baby is napping? Sure, right after three loads of (here we go again) vomit stained burp cloths. Fine, forget the laundry, make yourself the priority today. Get to Exercising. Just don't break a sweat, there won't be time to shower before baby wakes up, and you don't want to spend the rest of the day reeking of dried body odor. Although, maybe mixed with the smell of diaper and sour milk spit up, no one will notice....
Is this why my kids are 14 and 5 and I'm still calling it Baby Weight?
Working out with older kids presents it's own problems, though. First, having your 5 year old sit on the couch and stare at you while you struggle through Tae Bo is miserable.
Then, making sure you're dressed appropriately in case your 14 year old son and his buddies come in from playing catch to grab a snack/drink is no picnic. No Flashing Your Wobbly Bits at the Neighbor Kids!
And lastly, finishing in time to grab a shower so you can make sure dinner is on the table by the time hubby gets home from work is a fine art in and of itself.
Oh,don't worry, I'm not even going to discuss getting up "a little early" to fit in your workout before the family wakes up. This is nothing but lunacy.
I'm going to keep trying to sneak in a little here and there and hopefully you'll be able to do the same! Good luck!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sorry, it's been a while.
I've been feeling less than creative lately, when a friend pointed out that my latest email to her had several worthy topics.
Today's Choice -- Part Time Jobs for Stay At Home Moms. I'm talking about those of us who stay home, out of choice or necessity and find ourselves either needing or wanting a few extra bucks or a little bored with endless reruns of LazyTown and the Backyardigans. I read on a message board once that when you start debating which Wiggle is the cutest, then darlin', it's time to find something constructive to do.
I try to fill my day with Good Stuff. A little TV, some reading, some coloring, some block towers, some ABC flash cards. I make trips to the Public Library for Story Time and Story Pals. When the weather is nice we head to one of the many public parks in our area (with or without a playmate and their Mommy) or just pull out the stroller and trek around our neighborhood, aiding in my quest to lose weight.
But, since my current job (babysitting my precious niece) is technically a school year only gig, I've been thinking about what to do this summer.
I think I'm going to have to take a part time job. At least a few evenings a week. Truly, I hate to take a job knowing I'm only going to be there two months, but we'll definitely need the extra income.
Mostly, I have to make sure I find a job that works around my number one priority, my family. My husband works long hours in the summer time, and I can't expect him to come home and do a couple loads of laundry before making dinner before cleaning the kitchen before bath time before feeding the cat before taking out the trash.
There are lots of In Home Sales type things, you know what I'm talking about, Food tasting, jewelry, cosmetics, kitchen gadgetry, purses, cleaning products. They all claim to be perfect for us SAHM's, as we make our own schedule, thus deciding how big our paycheck is to be, but I've tried more than one of those before and I'm not sure they are the right fit for someone like me.
Soon I'll start looking in the newspaper. Wish me luck.
I've been feeling less than creative lately, when a friend pointed out that my latest email to her had several worthy topics.
Today's Choice -- Part Time Jobs for Stay At Home Moms. I'm talking about those of us who stay home, out of choice or necessity and find ourselves either needing or wanting a few extra bucks or a little bored with endless reruns of LazyTown and the Backyardigans. I read on a message board once that when you start debating which Wiggle is the cutest, then darlin', it's time to find something constructive to do.
I try to fill my day with Good Stuff. A little TV, some reading, some coloring, some block towers, some ABC flash cards. I make trips to the Public Library for Story Time and Story Pals. When the weather is nice we head to one of the many public parks in our area (with or without a playmate and their Mommy) or just pull out the stroller and trek around our neighborhood, aiding in my quest to lose weight.
But, since my current job (babysitting my precious niece) is technically a school year only gig, I've been thinking about what to do this summer.
I think I'm going to have to take a part time job. At least a few evenings a week. Truly, I hate to take a job knowing I'm only going to be there two months, but we'll definitely need the extra income.
Mostly, I have to make sure I find a job that works around my number one priority, my family. My husband works long hours in the summer time, and I can't expect him to come home and do a couple loads of laundry before making dinner before cleaning the kitchen before bath time before feeding the cat before taking out the trash.
There are lots of In Home Sales type things, you know what I'm talking about, Food tasting, jewelry, cosmetics, kitchen gadgetry, purses, cleaning products. They all claim to be perfect for us SAHM's, as we make our own schedule, thus deciding how big our paycheck is to be, but I've tried more than one of those before and I'm not sure they are the right fit for someone like me.
Soon I'll start looking in the newspaper. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
My First Request
How could I refuse?
OK, people, get out your BlackBerries, Day Runners, Calendars, post it notes, or whatever it is you use to keep track of Things To Do!
May 10, 2008 from 12-5 at the Carroll County Farm Museum.
You'll be spending it at the Boundless Bash for Hailey's Wish. It'll cost you $5 for General Admission or $10 to get your kids a Play All Day Wristband. There will be a Petting Zoo, Face Painting, Games, Shopping, Raffles, and SIX, count'em, SIX different inflatables, including an obstacle course and jousting!
Why go?
OK, people, get out your BlackBerries, Day Runners, Calendars, post it notes, or whatever it is you use to keep track of Things To Do!
May 10, 2008 from 12-5 at the Carroll County Farm Museum.
You'll be spending it at the Boundless Bash for Hailey's Wish. It'll cost you $5 for General Admission or $10 to get your kids a Play All Day Wristband. There will be a Petting Zoo, Face Painting, Games, Shopping, Raffles, and SIX, count'em, SIX different inflatables, including an obstacle course and jousting!
Why go?
Hailey's Wish A Foundation for Inclusive Play |
Now ask yourself this -- Why would you not go? Check out the Website for yourself --
http://projects.kaboom.org/haileyswish/AboutUs/tabid/34666/Default.aspx
-- Click on "Boundless Bash" at the top of the page. You know what? Click on EVERYTHING at the top of the page!
If that day happens to be Great Aunt Edna's 97th birthday party, fine, I'll understand, but reach deep into those pockets and let's get Every Child a Playground!
On the serious side, for a moment, this breaks my heart. No child, no matter what their level of ability is, should be without someplace safe and wonderful to play. Think of your own child. Sitting on the sidelines while the other kids laugh and play together. Left out because they can't use the swing or slide.
I'll see you all at the Boundless Bash.
Bring Aunt Edna.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Time Flies When You're Busting Your Butt
Obviously I haven't written for a few days. So much for my goal of writing every day for a month. I've been busy. DD got new bedroom furniture, so I spent Friday emptying her old room, cleaning the dust bunnies out of the corners, spackling the old curtain rod holes, touch up painting, and putting everything new in it's place.
Which, just for a moment, brings me to customer service. We have dealt with Gardiners Furniture store twice now. First when we splurged on new living and dining room furniture and again when Grandmother bought DD new bedroom furniture. These delivery men are far and above the most careful (think walls, corners, railings), most polite (Which side of the room do you want the bed, Ma'am? Is this table far enough over, Ma'am?). Two different deliveries, two different crews of men, two fantastic experiences. They were all clean cut and polite. Women know what I'm talking about. You stay home for a delivery or repair man and that creepy, dirty, sloppy, icky guy shows up. You don't know whether to leave him alone with your fine china and hide at the neighborhood park or follow him around your house making sure he doesn't take your Grandmother's pearls. Bottom line, Gardiners is fabulous!
Saturday morning, my DH's alarm clock wakes me up at 6:45 and try as I might, and believe me I tried, I could not get back to sleep. DD gets up mere moments after me and, Thanks Mom, I decided not to waste the day. We were outside at 8:30. Raking dead leaves out of the flower beds, trimming Forsythia, and planting bulbs. Persian Buttercups and Blazing Stars. The Buttercups are in "her" flower bed and the Stars are along the side of my house. The soil and sun aren't the greatest over there and Blazing Stars are known for growing in less than ideal circumstances. Fingers crossed, time will tell. Then it was grocery shopping, weekly meal planning, and Movie Night. Grandmother bought the kids Alvin and the Chipmunks. We all wanted to see it, so Grandmother, DH, DD, DS, and I had dinner together, then piled onto the sofas and vegged out. It was a very cute movie.
Now it's Sunday and I'm doing laundry. Gee, isn't your life complete for knowing that? I've got to run out for a few things, but I'm stalling because I left the car windows open last night (dumb me) and the car seats are damp. Which is kind of ironic because I left them open yesterday to air out the car. The driver's side door has some kind of leak, the carpet is always damp/wet and the car smells funny. Now the whole damn car is wet. Yay.
Moving right along.....
Which, just for a moment, brings me to customer service. We have dealt with Gardiners Furniture store twice now. First when we splurged on new living and dining room furniture and again when Grandmother bought DD new bedroom furniture. These delivery men are far and above the most careful (think walls, corners, railings), most polite (Which side of the room do you want the bed, Ma'am? Is this table far enough over, Ma'am?). Two different deliveries, two different crews of men, two fantastic experiences. They were all clean cut and polite. Women know what I'm talking about. You stay home for a delivery or repair man and that creepy, dirty, sloppy, icky guy shows up. You don't know whether to leave him alone with your fine china and hide at the neighborhood park or follow him around your house making sure he doesn't take your Grandmother's pearls. Bottom line, Gardiners is fabulous!
Saturday morning, my DH's alarm clock wakes me up at 6:45 and try as I might, and believe me I tried, I could not get back to sleep. DD gets up mere moments after me and, Thanks Mom, I decided not to waste the day. We were outside at 8:30. Raking dead leaves out of the flower beds, trimming Forsythia, and planting bulbs. Persian Buttercups and Blazing Stars. The Buttercups are in "her" flower bed and the Stars are along the side of my house. The soil and sun aren't the greatest over there and Blazing Stars are known for growing in less than ideal circumstances. Fingers crossed, time will tell. Then it was grocery shopping, weekly meal planning, and Movie Night. Grandmother bought the kids Alvin and the Chipmunks. We all wanted to see it, so Grandmother, DH, DD, DS, and I had dinner together, then piled onto the sofas and vegged out. It was a very cute movie.
Now it's Sunday and I'm doing laundry. Gee, isn't your life complete for knowing that? I've got to run out for a few things, but I'm stalling because I left the car windows open last night (dumb me) and the car seats are damp. Which is kind of ironic because I left them open yesterday to air out the car. The driver's side door has some kind of leak, the carpet is always damp/wet and the car smells funny. Now the whole damn car is wet. Yay.
Moving right along.....
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